Monday, July 22, 2013

Lost in Mechanics

It's easy to dislike one's own work, even when it works. And there are many questions about what the heck does it even mean for mechanics to work or to not work. There are things you could easily argue don't work, and yet they might. Is a game bad because it relies too much on luck? What exactly is the goal of your mechanic? Do you want someone to play your game once and be done, or do you want them to have the urge to play it at any moment. The difference between Angry Birds and Trackmania is enormous, when one forces you to deal with a seemingly random set of physics outcomes, while the other gives you precisely what you want, provided you can indeed press at exactly the right moment.

I've been making luck based games lately, and it's really annoying. I didn't want to do this. I've been creating scenarios where things are just balanced enough that the player is at the whims of the random seed generated that playthrough. I've got a boardgame where every player has such an opportunity to be the winner that it ends up being almost luck-based. Give every player a chance to come back to the victory, and you don't know which player will draw that straw.

There has to be a point where you decide that you're just going to move forward with the mechanic, but it's tough when you can't tell if that mechanic is what you wanted it to be. Making a game about choosing paths in life, I don't know what I'm writing anymore.
this all means jack diddly.
ooooh joy.
more product that's product that doesn't go anyhwere because I can't fuckin move beyond this weird sophomore slump, right? it's easy to draw goats. it's hard to make something new. or to want to make something new.

I left that game behind, that bathtub game behind because I'm making toys. I can't seem to make a system that's got true meaning mixed with control. so here we go again with that. Should I finish this thing? I think I should, but who really knows anymore. I just have to keep pushing, but for now and I can just draw goats. Goats jumping, hhhere we go! Everyone likes something that they know already. I wish i could make the new mechanics more quickly. I could pinpoint whenwhy it works or not.

It's the curse. games are systems, and I don't know where the entry point for the system is . or how You should be affecting it or if you should have a real say, or if you care about how it looks. you shouldn't care how it looks I think. But that's discounting the power of aesthetic. A system is representative, right? or is it entirely abstracted. Oh boy, Okay, I need to just go not think for a couple hours. And get back tro drawering things in the morning.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Let love be. Beyond all laws and boundaries.

You can argue there's no goal in life, but I have to respond with love. Or I must try. Those heartbeats of space and time, those pulsing rhythms deep in our minds, that is the yearning to love.

We must yearn to love. Life is a never-ending yearning. The heart should yearn for love as much as it does love.

We hurt each other, we hurt ourselves, in that denial of love.

It's not about acceptance, it's not about tolerance. Love is deeper than tolerance, it's understanding. It's an embrace. Love consumes. Love is all. And where there is love, there is life.

Let love be. Beyond all laws and boundaries. Love is one.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Just now Ian came up and spoke to me over my shoulder as I was drawing Escape Goat 2 art. On my headphones the immensely dramatic climax of M83's song "Wait" was pulsing through my tiny earbuds. I quickly tapped the F8 key on my Macbook to pause the beautiful moment of creation and catharsis and art that someone had created thousands of miles from here, across an ocean. We chatted briefly about the programming he had just done, making it easier to fit more art into our game at less cost to file size. We finished talking and I hit F8 again. The pounding climax returned at full force, as the particles of noise instantaneously resumed from their frozen state, the emotion waiting for me to call. It could have waited forever.