Today I rode my bike at a time later in the afternoon than would normally be wise. It had already began to feel as if the darkness were coming on, but in the winter time, it always feels like the evening is ready to descend. I love the evening, and one of the strongest determinants of that chilling atmosphere is cloud cover. I detest flat gray clouds hovering far beyond my reach, filling the sky with one somber tone. But I adore when the clouds break themselves up with shafts of blue sky and the sun is always just hidden, granting clouds glowing outlines.
That was today. Cloudy with the sun ever striving to appear. And so I went on a bike ride as the sun started its retreat down into the hills west of Gilroy. The air was crisp and clear after last night’s landscape shrouding rain and my bike felt good, a tool for me to get farther from the city than my legs would take me. So, not foolish exactly, but aware of the slowy descending darkness, I went out to Day Road, just at the northwest edge of Gilroy, and made my trip out into the western hills. After crossing over hills and twisting back around toward the city via Watsonville and Burchell Roads, I finally came up the backside of Mantelli hill, at the cusp of Gilroy’s western side.
I almost always ride the reverse of today, starting by going over Mantelli and returning by Day. I’m glad I broke from normalcy, because just as I rode up the first hill and turned around to one of my favorite lookouts, I caught a stunning sky blending with the hillsides by way of dark blue clouds clinging to the forests. The sky directly over the hills was orange with a hint of pink and purple hues as the sun remained visible only through the glowing seams of the clouds. Retreating east were dark vibrant blues, tinting the dark green hills. Tendrils of cloud and fog hung over the high hills and I wish I had had a camera, though no photo would have done that panoramic view justice.
I say all this because it is such times that I am thankful for my existence, and that I feel that my purpose might be clearly to exist. I imagine you aren’t surprised at my words turning philosophical, so I will state my final point simply here: People question what the meaning of life is, and I say that life is the meaning. Existence, more specifically, is our purpose, the meaning to our lives and the greater universe. One of my great friends says that we exist, and there is no purpose, we just exist, there is no creator, the universe just is. Get that? The universe is. But my feelings, my dreams, my spirituality cries out for more. I say instead that the universe is because it is meant to be.
Purpose. That’s what I put forth. I think there is purpose and meaning, but I think it is simpler than good or bad, large or small. I feel that the state of the universe to exist is beautiful. Yes, I also think we can make it not beautiful, by causing things not to be. I pray for the power to exist and not harm those things that also exist. I can only try and regard everything with respect. To just exist and experience the earth is enough. But of course not everyone allows things to just exist, and to them I put my sincerest hopes that they let destruction be nature’s call. There is enough destruction naturally, and it alone is a thoughtless cleaning and clearing. We, who have sentience, have not the right to such thoughtlessness.